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I follow other blogs. Most blog writers follow other blogs. Many people who don’t have blogs, follow blogs. Blogging is a personal thing for many people. It’s a way we can connect to others. It’s a way we can share life. It’s a way we can get validation. It’s a way for us, all of us, to feel a sense of community.
When I read blogs, I read them for information, for purpose, for sanity, for support, for guidance, and for validation. Sometimes I comment on others’ blogs. Sometimes I think to comment and then don’t for whatever reason. Sometimes I mean to comment or share and I get sidetracked. Sometimes I sit with a blog post I’ve read. Some blog posts are more intimate than others. Some don’t hit me at all. Either way, other blogs and bloggers are important to me.
Prior to pregnancy I never thought I was a blogging kind of person. I mean, after all, I’m all about people keeping to themselves and not getting so wrapped up in others’ lives. But, I admit, I didn’t understand blogging before. I understood writing and I understood journaling, I just didn’t understand blogging. I didn’t understand that blogging was exactly that – it was a glimpse into others’ lives. But not others like celebrities and entertainers, people – just real every day people. People that like to write. People that journal. I didn’t fully grasp that blogging was just journaling, but publicly. Well, actually I understood journaling publicly, I’d done it before. Somehow I didn’t put public journaling and blogging together in the same category.
Either way, Birthing Beautiful Ideas was my solace throughout my pregnancy. There were a few other blogs I looked at occasionally, but Birthing Beautiful Ideas is where I came back to. It didn’t matter to me if she posted every day or once a week. What mattered is that I gained some much needed support and information. I felt supported and understood. See, we made non-mainstream decisions regarding our pregnancy and birth. We knew this before we were pregnant. I didn’t know how isolating it might feel to do that though. I didn’t know that answering questions repeatedly the same way would take it’s toll on me the way it did.
I’ve struggled with feeling different my whole life. It hasn’t changed at all. No matter what friends are around, no matter what level of contact I have with people, I just feel different. Well, truthfully, I’m just different from mainstream things. That’s what sets me apart. I’ve known that for at least half my life, yet it doesn’t get easier over time. I’ve accepted that I see things differently. I’ve accepted that I want to do things differently. I’ve accepted that sometimes there mayn’t be any real support for me as a result. Doesn’t make it less difficult. Nonetheless, I found Birthing Beautiful Ideas to be a place where I could feel not so different. I found her writing to be poignant and honest. I’d found another person who thought differently about things and therefore, I wasn’t so different anymore.
Having found blogs and having gotten comfortable with them, I also found parts of myself that had been buried, just longing to come out and be seen. I was fine just with Hun, but that wasn’t always enough. As a woman, I needed more than the comfort of having a partner who also was different. One who saw and thought things in ways similar to my thoughts and views. So, anyway, when I come across a blog or a post that resonates even more deeply, I again am comforted in knowing that ‘all is well in the world’. I am comforted in knowing that, Yes, even I am ok. That I haven’t failed, that I have made sacrifices that are important, that I am doing my best and that is just great.
Finding Joy is really good at keeping me sane. She’s always writing about life and motherhood. And to me, slowing down a bit. Relaxing. Removing the binding shackles of perfection in my mind. She does it honestly. She does it while acknowledging the difficulties. She also does it by just merely accepting. And since acceptance is something I’m always working with, she supports me too. Two of her recent posts, The Perfect Mom Label and Calming the Inner Critic have resettled me. There are many others, but these two were very resettling.
In another way, they’ve also drawn me back to the posts I made about labels and choices, Why I Choose the Label ‘Attachment Parenting’ and Feminism and Motherhood that I wrote shortly after beginning this blogventure of mine. Both of those posts are still true. I think they’re even more true today. I don’t like labels. Labels, to me, are what keep people separate. Labels can be derogatory and are usually not very helpful. Labels can be positive, but only if there is enough positive support around them. Labels are just that – labels. They put people in boxes that often don’t truly fit. They take people out of boxes too. Labels are hindrances more often than not. Or at least, that’s what I’ve found over time. Labels are very rarely actually understood for what they mean and how they affect others. Labels push for difference, division, and unparallelled perfection towards an unknown and undefined end.
How about we all try to keep labels to a minimum? Why don’t we each just stop for a moment and think about the labels that are applied to each of us and how they make or break our stride every day? Tell me what you think.