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Challenge: Did you take on a new challenge? What was it? Is there a challenge you deliberately avoided? What do you want to do to challenge yourself in 2014?
I can’t pick just one challenge. This year has been a blending of many challenges. Therefore, I’m picking all my major challenges for the year: Natural Labor and Birth, Becoming a Mother, Staying at Home, and Blogging.
I’ve written about Baby’s birth. But, that’s not the whole story. (Is any one story ever the whole story?) Personally, I’ve known no one that has had a natural birth, especially one not involving doctors and hospitals. So, there was a ton to learn. I didn’t do it because I had some idea or band-wagon I wanted to join. I did it because that’s what I felt was best. I did it because, to me, that’s what felt natural and normal – no doctors, no hospitals, no medication. I did it because I’ve always thought that was best for me. In today’s world, with emphasis on allopathic medicine and the management of everything having to do with the human body, we had quite a task on our hands. Preparation was both the ticket and the train ride to making this happen. We also had an excellent birth team whom really helped bring our dreams into reality.
Although I thought of myself as a mother before Baby was actually born, I had to instantly transform into whatever vision I didn’t even have of being a mother. I had to figure everything out and that sure has been a process. Although I knew that being a mother wasn’t going to be easy, I think somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I thought I would transition easily. That hasn’t been the case, not so far as I’ve experienced it. , but I still (7 months in) beg to differ.
Then there’s the whole being a stay-at-home mother. Once again, not something I really knew how to do. I’d always thought I’d be a stay-at-home mom, I just didn’t really fully conceptualize what that entailed. Somehow I thought I’d be able to actually get more done. I’d have time to sit and put together Baby’s book. I’d be able to work on my crocheting more. None of that happened. Baby’s book still hasn’t even been touched. Some of the elements are there, or more aptly, filed in a box or two (or three), but nowhere near done. We’re talking, the album hasn’t been purchased, only some of the paper and other items. Crocheting. Yea, Baby seems to think that any yarn I have out is for him to grab at and play with, so not much has been done there either. In the very early days, I did manage to get a few things completed, but nothing since.
Oh, and let’s not leave out this blogventure of mine. Me, the same woman who thought that she would have time to do things, also decided that she could be a blogger. Yep, right in the midst of all these other challenges, I decided, “Hey, why don’t I start a blog? It’ll give me something to do. I’ll be able to write things down. I can do this.”
I’m still an overachiever, but I try to loosen the reins a little bit every day. I’m still sometimes delusional about how much I can get done in a day. I’m still figuring out how to do most of these things. I’ve come the conclusion, as many mothers eventually do, that I likely won’t ever have it *just right*, so now I aim for genuine attempts. And yet, I don’t want to change or take any of it back. These challenges have continued to shape my person, my outlook, and my life.
What challenge might I want to do in 2014? Although I’m proud of what I have accomplished and even with all the craziness, I (think) I’d do it again, I don’t want 2014 to be like this year has been – so full of change that I, myself, get buried though. I know we have a goal to be in an RV and continuously travel in 2014. I think that’ll be a huge challenge – moving from a standing home to a home on wheels and all of its unique challenges. I think I can do it though.