Baby Boy is now 10 months old. He’s 10 Months Old!! Yes, he is 10 months. I can’t believe it. I don’t really know how this happened. I don’t really know how I became the mother of a 10 month old, busy Baby Boy.
I sit and watch him and wonder where the time has gone. I remember 20 months ago, we didn’t even know we were having a boy. I remember 20 months ago I barely felt pregnant. I remember how shocked and surprised I was that we were expecting. Now, now I’m the mother of a 10 month old!
Sometimes I wonder how he learned to express himself in all the ways he does. How did he learn to babble-respond to us when we’re talking? How did he learn to go to someone and start babbling or tapping them for attention? When exactly did he begin to give hugs, kisses, and throw tantrums? He understands things I tell him, words I use preceding specific actions. He knows when I’m playing and when I’m serious. He knows when it’s time to eat and he goes around the room “asking” for food from everyone. And those teeth! The walking! The babbling back!
Everything he does amazes me. He’s been officially walking on his own an entire month now, yet I’m still amazed. I’m amazed at his ability to balance and try running after, to, or away from someone or something. I’m amazed at his ability to problem solve. I’m amazed at his ability to choose what book to read from a small selection. I’m also amazed at his uncanny ability to screech and stomp his feet when he’s mad, all the while seeming to understand my reflection of “mad” through sign.
There have definitely been some hard times. I had a difficult time adjusting to motherhood. I didn’t know which way to turn, let alone the difference between up and down. I spent a good 5 or 6 months trying to just figure out what to do and how to be. I have come to accept that yes, I did have some postpartum depression. (Not going through that again!) But. There have been joys and revelations I couldn’t have predicted. Most of all, though, these last 10 months have been months I wouldn’t change for the world. I wouldn’t want to give up a single thing. Overall, it’s been an amazing 10 months!
Of course, there are times when I wonder how I’ll handle the rest of his life. That’s balanced out when I sit and marvel at the joy that he is. Baby Boy has taught me a few things. He’s helped me to realize and act on some things too. Things that enhance my person as well as my motherhood. Sometimes I even try to figure how I became a 30-year old independent woman who’d accepted I just may not have a family of my own to a 30-something mother with a family of my own.
I love that Baby Boy is all that he is today and all that he will be in the future. I love him for exactly who he is. I couldn’t ask for a child that’s more than all that Baby Boy is.