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We don’t have 10 years of marriage. Hun and I don’t even have 5 years of relationship.

We have 3 years of knowing each other and being together.

We didn’t meet in high school, or even out on the town.  College, graduate school, or even work weren’t where we met either.  We met after I finished graduate school. I’d accepted the idea of having only my career, no children, no husband, or family to call my own when we did meet. And, I was transitioning from there to somewhere else. We met as I planned a move from one state to another, because I wasn’t quite sure what was next and all I knew was to look for a job.

To top it off, we met online.

Yep, an an online dating site.

I’d signed up to the site, almost as a joke to myself, and on my 30th birthday no less! He was signed up to the site through an old friend/ex. We exchanged a couple of emails. We spoke on the phone for hours. After a few days of this, we met in person and made a decision.

We made the decision to be together and to live life the best way we knew how, or to at least discover how together, side-by-side.

I moved into his place only about 2 weeks after meeting him for the first time online, mere days of meeting him in person. Within a few months, we decided we would try for a child. Time wasn’t going to slow down for us. Time wasn’t going backwards either.

Both in our 30s, we figured there’s no such thing as the “right time” and went for it. A few months later, we were pregnant.

That’s our story.

Our love story is one of self-knowledge, spirituality, awareness, acceptance, and decision-making. We fell in love with one another through our long and winding conversations about everything from personal philosophy, beliefs and spirituality, outlook, family structure, child rearing, and education. We both believed in advocacy and freedom and working hard.

Some days I wish we could have met sooner in life. Some days I wish, at least, that we were younger, yet with the same self-awareness. Most days though I’m quite alright with where we are in life. Most days I accept and understand that things happened the way they happened and I wouldn’t want to change it. I know that my life today wouldn’t be filled with the kind of joy I get when cooking a wholesome whole foods meal for my family, creating something to share together, or even making a quick little wallet for Hun.

Without Hun, I probably would come home with no one to greet me, no one to share my sorrows, deepest fears, darkest memories, greatest joys, passions, and love with.

I may have had an active enough (for me) social life. I may have had an abundance of quiet time. Time that would likely be spent vegging out because I was physically and emotionally spent from work – work that I would have (hopefully) loved on many levels, but which left me mentally and emotionally spent and wanting to withdraw.

I know I wouldn’t have Baby Boy’s beautiful, shining, smiling face. There’d be no watching him grow and change almost daily. I wouldn’t have a long to-do list, filled with constant cleaning up, cooking, and (attempts) at personal achievements. I wouldn’t be channeling much (if any) creativity. The things I’m learning likely wouldn’t be, either.  And, most certainly, I wouldn’t have this blog space.

All of my time and energy, when not working or recovering from working, would have been spent on outside activities or people in order to keep me filled up.

So, although I sometimes wonder what things would be like if Hun and I had had more time together, just as a couple, I know I’m right where I need to be. I long for the days when we can happily say, we’ve been together 10 years. But for now, I’m perfectly content with our together 3 wonderful, fulfilling, and loving years. We are on our path and our path is the path that matters to me. Our journey is ours alone and comparisons are fruitless.

And today marks the 3rd year in the creation of the foundation of our family! 3 years I’m proud of. For 3 years, I deeply know that I’m known as a person.  I have so much love.  I’m honored and respected and cherished. We’ve spent 3 years working together, building our partnership and making our family stronger. 3 years of learning about one another and loving each other despite a difference of opinion. 3 years of hugs and kisses and “I Love You’s” and “Team!”. 3 years of constant change, growth, and discovery. 3 years of bliss. I am oh so grateful. I have more fulfillment than I could have ever imagined. These last 3 years. Well, they’re some of the best years of my life so far! And I look forward to oh so many more!

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A Lack of Anniversaries Don’t Make Us Less Together as a Family
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27 thoughts on “A Lack of Anniversaries Don’t Make Us Less Together as a Family

  • February 2, 2015 at 3:07 pm
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    Thank you for sharing your passionate and lovefilled story. I think it sounds very romantic even though I understand the hard work it takes to create a solid ground in the relationship. Years are just numbers and marriage is not the same as true love. When I read your story I felt the strenght in your bond. It is not just a show off it is deep beautiful love of a rare kind. And that is all that counts…

    Me and my Heart have known each other in 9 years (actually 10 years the coming Fall). We always had a special bond and a deeper connection it is hard to explain. But life has been rough on us both and things never went our way. After living together for four years we separated. Our love had not died but we needed time apart. To be able to grow as individuals and heal our inner wounds. For two years we lived seperated but still had breef contact. Then one day we decided to go to a movie toghter. Since then we have been closer than ever and more in love than ever. We are healed and have reached inner peace. Together we are stonger and more grounded than I can explain. As a result of our journey we finally reached the point where we felt that our love could include a baby. I am 37 and going to have my first child. It is late – for my age but not for my love and soul…
    Charlotte recently posted…How to sew an easy baby hatMy Profile

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    • February 2, 2015 at 3:41 pm
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      Oh wow! You have a great story. Your story is all your own and that’s what matters. You and your heart are strong and happy and bonded, that’s the most important parts of not just a relationship, but a family! Being healed and having inner peace are the things that actually make us more open to loving and living strongly and assuredly, if that makes sense. <--my opinion, of course! Thank you for hearing our story, as well! 🙂

      Reply
      • February 2, 2015 at 11:07 pm
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        Thank you. I didn’t intend to write so much – I just got winded up and emotional.. Lol. Congrats to your anniversery! I hope everyone who reads my comment understand that I think marrige is a wonderful thing. Sorry if I offended anyone…

        Reply
        • February 3, 2015 at 4:25 am
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          Charlotte, no need to apologize. I loved your comment. And don’t worry about writing “so much”, it’s OK here! Besides, I’ve been known to do that on others’ blog on occasion, too.

          I appreciate your comment and your thoughts! 🙂

          Reply
          • February 3, 2015 at 5:20 am
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            You are so kind and understanding – thank you.

          • February 4, 2015 at 2:53 am
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            Charlotte, we’re all just figuring out life. I’m happy to share mine with others, connect with great people like yourself, and not be so alone on the journey of figuring it all out! 🙂

  • February 2, 2015 at 3:21 pm
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    I respect anyone who is willing to live their life on their own terms. In the end, it’s the quality of the love and bond you share that matters, not the quantity of years you spend together. Some people are together for twenty years and miserable for 19 of them! With that said, I hope you and yours have many years of bliss!
    Yanique Chambers recently posted…Travel Size Busy BoxesMy Profile

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    • February 2, 2015 at 3:44 pm
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      Thank you very much! I certainly never wanted the relationship/marriage/family where the not happy were dominant. That was an internal reason I didn’t marry or stay with otehrs from my past. It needed to be right and fortunately Hun and I found one another! 🙂

      Reply
  • February 2, 2015 at 3:49 pm
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    WOW…wow…wow! You are amazing. I love how you moved in after days of knowing that it was right for you. That’s so wonderful that you were able to know, you know.

    My husband and I dated for like 7 years. I think it was wayyyy too long. You either know or don’t, you know? I mean, it’s crazy. We have been married for 12 years and have known each other for like 20.

    Personally, I don’t think meeting someone and having a child in your 30’s is late. Do you? You do things when they are right and you know they are right. Knowing yourself better contributes a lot to maturity, knowing what you want or don’t want out of life, being adaptable to change and being comfortable in your own skin. Whether that happens when you are 23 or 33 doesn’t really matter, I don’t think.
    Lisa Nelson recently posted…The Mommy Monday Blog Hop – Week 84My Profile

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    • February 2, 2015 at 5:52 pm
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      I agree with you wholeheartedly, knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, having that maturity and adaptability are so important in maintaining a relationship.

      There are all these forces and voices out here always saying what’s “right” or how things are “supposed” to be, yet those things aren’t individualized. Everyone has their own path to travel and grow. So, even though I’ve had those moments of thinking somehow I did something wrong or I’m odd (that one has been a lifelong struggle, I ultimately still know my life is right for me. So, I’ll go on to (hopefully) have more babies in my 30s! 😀

      Reply
  • February 2, 2015 at 4:17 pm
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    You know whats crazy? My husband and I met by chance, but we had both decided right before meeting each other that if we were still single by 25, we’d sign up for an online Christian dating site.. and we had both picked the same site, around the same time.. we’re CONVINCED we would have met through there if we hadn’t met when we did! lol! Anyhoo, love the picture up in the tree, those smiles are so genuine!! <3 – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
    Gingi recently posted…Shrimp Cocktail Layered Party SpreadMy Profile

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    • February 2, 2015 at 5:54 pm
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      Yeah, Gingi I know what you mean. Hun and I both believe that we were meant to meet one another!

      It’s always so interesting how things happen when you least expect it! 🙂

      By the way, I’ve read your story, too and find it quite right 🙂

      Reply
  • February 3, 2015 at 2:34 am
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    You guys have such a lovely story! Things happen for a reason, and now you have such a beautiful family 🙂 Happy Anniversary
    Cole recently posted…Eight Years in LoveMy Profile

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  • February 3, 2015 at 5:42 pm
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    Happy Anniversary!
    I love the wisdom and the stories and the photos. You know I’m a sucker for a good love story because of my own story. It just fascinates me. We meet when we’re supposed to meet, I guess!
    Tamara recently posted…The Long and Winding Road.My Profile

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  • February 3, 2015 at 7:12 pm
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    Appreciated a comment you left on my blog and followed you back over here – and I loved this post.

    On my husband’s side we have the full spectrum – his brother and his wife only knew each other for a few months before getting married, but Phillip and I had been together for 6 years first. And then there’s everything in between (4 of his siblings are married.) And we’re all very happily married.

    You have a great-looking family to be proud of.
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…What Motherhood Taught Me About God: Our Infinite WorthMy Profile

    Reply
    • February 4, 2015 at 2:52 am
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      Hi, Jenny! So glad you stopped by! I’m also glad you liked this post, understanding and accepting our story what it is 🙂

      Reply
  • February 6, 2015 at 7:12 pm
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    I totally understand your sentiment! My husband and I met in our late 20s (we met on an online dating website, too) and were almost 30 when we married. Now we’ve been blessed with a little one. My husband is so amazing that he was worth the wait. 🙂
    Our church often has small groups for “young married couples” and I feel awkward because we’re definitely not “young” in age. I never know if what they really mean is “newlyweds” or if they truly mean young couples.
    Shannon @ Of The Hearth recently posted…Maintaining Friendships Across Life StagesMy Profile

    Reply
    • February 9, 2015 at 1:22 pm
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      It really is wonderful the things that happen when I just wait, whether consciously or not! 🙂

      Reply
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*This post may contain affiliate links. If you click through, I may earn a small commission. Your price will never be affected by my affiliate link. On occasion, I also write sponsored posts, which help to run the blog as well. I thank you for supporting this space, so I can continue to share my journey and our family adventures. For more information, please visit the full disclosure here*


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