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We don’t have 10 years of marriage. Hun and I don’t even have 5 years of relationship.
We have 3 years of knowing each other and being together.
We didn’t meet in high school, or even out on the town. College, graduate school, or even work weren’t where we met either. We met after I finished graduate school. I’d accepted the idea of having only my career, no children, no husband, or family to call my own when we did meet. And, I was transitioning from there to somewhere else. We met as I planned a move from one state to another, because I wasn’t quite sure what was next and all I knew was to look for a job.
To top it off, we met online.
Yep, an an online dating site.
I’d signed up to the site, almost as a joke to myself, and on my 30th birthday no less! He was signed up to the site through an old friend/ex. We exchanged a couple of emails. We spoke on the phone for hours. After a few days of this, we met in person and made a decision.
We made the decision to be together and to live life the best way we knew how, or to at least discover how together, side-by-side.
I moved into his place only about 2 weeks after meeting him for the first time online, mere days of meeting him in person. Within a few months, we decided we would try for a child. Time wasn’t going to slow down for us. Time wasn’t going backwards either.
Both in our 30s, we figured there’s no such thing as the “right time” and went for it. A few months later, we were pregnant.
That’s our story.
Our love story is one of self-knowledge, spirituality, awareness, acceptance, and decision-making. We fell in love with one another through our long and winding conversations about everything from personal philosophy, beliefs and spirituality, outlook, family structure, child rearing, and education. We both believed in advocacy and freedom and working hard.
Some days I wish we could have met sooner in life. Some days I wish, at least, that we were younger, yet with the same self-awareness. Most days though I’m quite alright with where we are in life. Most days I accept and understand that things happened the way they happened and I wouldn’t want to change it. I know that my life today wouldn’t be filled with the kind of joy I get when cooking a wholesome whole foods meal for my family, creating something to share together, or even making a quick little wallet for Hun.
Without Hun, I probably would come home with no one to greet me, no one to share my sorrows, deepest fears, darkest memories, greatest joys, passions, and love with.
I may have had an active enough (for me) social life. I may have had an abundance of quiet time. Time that would likely be spent vegging out because I was physically and emotionally spent from work – work that I would have (hopefully) loved on many levels, but which left me mentally and emotionally spent and wanting to withdraw.
I know I wouldn’t have Baby Boy’s beautiful, shining, smiling face. There’d be no watching him grow and change almost daily. I wouldn’t have a long to-do list, filled with constant cleaning up, cooking, and (attempts) at personal achievements. I wouldn’t be channeling much (if any) creativity. The things I’m learning likely wouldn’t be, either. And, most certainly, I wouldn’t have this blog space.
All of my time and energy, when not working or recovering from working, would have been spent on outside activities or people in order to keep me filled up.
So, although I sometimes wonder what things would be like if Hun and I had had more time together, just as a couple, I know I’m right where I need to be. I long for the days when we can happily say, we’ve been together 10 years. But for now, I’m perfectly content with our together 3 wonderful, fulfilling, and loving years. We are on our path and our path is the path that matters to me. Our journey is ours alone and comparisons are fruitless.
And today marks the 3rd year in the creation of the foundation of our family! 3 years I’m proud of. For 3 years, I deeply know that I’m known as a person. I have so much love. I’m honored and respected and cherished. We’ve spent 3 years working together, building our partnership and making our family stronger. 3 years of learning about one another and loving each other despite a difference of opinion. 3 years of hugs and kisses and “I Love You’s” and “Team!”. 3 years of constant change, growth, and discovery. 3 years of bliss. I am oh so grateful. I have more fulfillment than I could have ever imagined. These last 3 years. Well, they’re some of the best years of my life so far! And I look forward to oh so many more!