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As you approach your 6th month of life here with us, I’m torn. I’m torn between the time having gone by so swiftly I almost didn’t know it was happening, even as it happened, each day for these last 6 months.
There’s no monthly update of your progress through life, no commemorating each stage – not yet anyway.
These last 6 Months have been so full of living, not just for you but our entire family. You swooshed into our lives, even as you were already part of it. Wonderful, blessed greetings of love and beauty.
Your first few days were a whirlwind of activity, so many meeting you face to face for the first time, even traveling to meet out of state family. You handled that long drive quite well, too.
Then, we had a nice Thanksgiving and Christmas with extended family. The love surrounding us all, enveloping us before we knew how much we’d need it in the coming months.
I’m so glad you had some time with your grandpa, the only one you really had. I have not enough words for how much it means to me that there were times during the immediate days of your grandpa’s death when I wasn’t with you, nursings were spaced too far apart, as you spent your days in a not-quite-familiar place with your grandma, aunt, and cousins. I’d rush in and nurse you, maybe eat a bite myself, and rush back out.
Yet, you shined on. Like the wonderful, beautiful, joyous soul you are. You shined on and for all of us.
That infectious smile of yours, your searching eyes full of wonder, that tender way you nuzzle in, the way you’ll grasp attention for yourself. You are an amazing child.
You’re not just amazing because you have grandpa’s name, but because you are uniquely you.
I love to hear you laugh and play. Watching you scoot around, usually in a circle, reaching for things to explore brightens my mood. The way you patiently let your brother hold you, or when the two of you find a way to play together, just amazes me.
You’re chubby in your own right. You seem to refuse to even try to sit on your own, preferring to scoot, be propped up, or be held. Sucking on the wrap as I go about the various daily living tasks seems to be one of your favorite things. No, strike that, anything in your mouth is your favorite thing!
I’m excited to keep growing with you, because even though I was a mom to your brother for a couple years before you, I’m still figuring it all out. Lucky for you though, I’ve gotten more comfortable and accepting of the factual reality that I may not ever really figure it all out and there’s no point in trying to be perfect and right all the time, especially since there is no real ‘right’ when it comes to motherhood.
I love you dearly. I cherish your presence here with us. I value your contribution to our family. And I’m so very grateful to be your Momma.
Always in Love,