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At times like this, it’s hard to not feel like a flake. I had plans with others and I really wanted to follow through on them. And, up until just yesterday, I thought I could. Then, I realized there’s not time left to do some of the things. I had so many expectations of myself during this season of change for us, with me moving to a work at home position and the boys going into car. And so I was faced with a choice: sit in the feeling of failure or accept that maybe I overburdened myself.
As hard as it can be sometimes, accepting that I’m not able to always do all.the.things is actually OK. And normal. After all, no one is perfect and no one can do everything. Sometimes we’re in a season of life that takes us by surprise with its twists and turns. Other times we’re in a time of transition and change. Still other times, we find our flow and rhythm.
Right now, I’m in a season of change. Some things are getting a little easier, some I’m still trying to adjust to. Right now, there’s a pile of laundry that needs folded and put away. The other half of the laundry needs to go in the washer. The kitchen floor has 2 weeks worth of grime and sticky on it. The bathroom counters and sinks need scrubbed. And, I have more blog work than I can even list. Not to mention the need for groceries.
And yet, Hun and I are both at work and the boys are in care today. This morning, instead of tackling at least 2 of these tasks, I’m going back to bed for 2 hours just so I can make it through my upcoming 10hr work shift because Turtle Boy and I had a bit of a rough night. So, once again, I’ll spend each of my two 15-minute and 45-minute breaks attempting to get some household task done, see my guys for a few minutes this evening, and try not to stress myself out. The reality is that I’m struggling to meet any expectations outside of the requirement to be in work. My own high expectations aren’t going to be a source of my stress, right now. I can’t allow that, or things would be worse than they are.
And, since I’ll be doing that, I’ll also continue to work on giving myself the grace to be normal. Recognizing that we are truly not the only family in the world struggling to do all.the.things. Neither are we the first or last family going through a transitional period during the holidays, let alone in life. So, I can then extend more kindness to myself, as well as others. I can ask for the same from others, but I certainly won’t rely on receiving it. Because no matter what, I know it’s OK and my experience is valid.
The family photos I owe another family member for their holiday project may not be included in her project. Books and gifts I meant to buy and send to other online friends likely won’t happen, and the kitchen floor and bathroom counters may go another week without a proper cleaning.
Somehow it’ll all be OK. Not because someone else declared it so, but because I let go of the idea I really can do it all. It’s not that I won’t be sad our photos may not be included, especially since I had a few weeks to get them in. Nor is it because I like dirty bathroom counters and kitchen floors because I *very much* do not. Not even because I’m not getting support from Hun or anyone else.
It is because I’m not perfect.
I am perfectly normal.
So, hopefully, tomorrow I can send the pictures and I’ll be OK with whatever happens. And, maybe a run to the store will ensure we have a couple days of groceries. Also, this week, we may even figure out our family holiday plans between work schedules, a vacation day that needs to be taken, some voluntary time off recommendations, gift buying for family, and travel.
Over the next few weeks or so, we will find out some information that can help with future plans and goals, vehicle repairs, and work options. Extended family stuff may also have a quick resolution.
Plus, we’ll definitely receive another 365 days to keep growing, changing, moving forward, loving, and living. And, as those things happen, we’ll adjust where we need, ask for help when we need, and maybe even throw in some fun family time together for connection, relaxation, and energy or inspiration.
How has your December been so far? Do you find that in times of transition you need more grace than other times? Or do you have super powers I need to learn so all.the.things get done?