This year things are different for me. So, on this Thanksgiving, I’m reflecting on life, loss, and sharing a list of things I’m grateful for.
In many ways, I feel less invincible and more vulnerable when we drive by a cemetery today. I also feel the deep pain and sadness of my grief about my Dad.
Things are getting better. My dad will always be with me. We hike and I explore the legacy that is me.
I can’t or don’t want to do anything. It comes in spurts and then I’m just overwhelmed. I want to cry and scream and do nothing all at once. It hurts to know. It hurts to understand.
Tasks overwhelm me. Life overwhelms me. Parenting is overwhelming. And yet, I keep pushing forward, during the grief to get the tasks accomplished. And I have no more energy or space to spare.
I didn’t know when I’d start to ever feel normal again. This morning, vegetables proved to be normal.
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